What is Love Without Pain?
by Starkendo
Summary: When Kyle hurts Cartman deeply, Cartman will do anything to prove him wrong. M/M, Kyman, Hints of other pairings, smut, rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: Hi, I'm Starkendo. This is my first time writing anything ever. I've always wanted to start writing but never had any time to do so. I hope you enjoy reading my story. I love constructive criticism, as it will help me write even better content.**

 **This story will contain M/M, profanity, sexual situations, BDSM, violence, and racism. The main pairing of the story will be Kyman (Cartman/Kyle), but there will also be a little Bunny (Butters and Kenny) and Stanman (Stan/Cartman).**

"Fuck you, you filthy kike!" Cartman growled as he cleaned the blood from his nose.

"Shut the fuck up you fat cunt!" Kyle yelled as he shook his hand from the impact he made with Cartman's face.

A large crowd had gathered around the two boys to watch the fight. It wasn't unusual to see Kyle and Cartman fight before school, but there was something that made this fight feel different. It was too passionate. It felt as if this was going the fight to end all of their fights. There would be a clear winner and a clear loser. Most of the time, Cartman and Kyle would exchange harsh words and have the occasional fist fight but they would always just walk away before it became too serious. This was different. Their childhood rivalry would be ending today.

Cartman stood up and looked at his opponent, his chocolate brown eyes burning with intense hatred for the boy just across the courtyard. He knew that he wouldn't be able to fight Kyle straight up. Cartman knew that he had a size advantage over the short boy but Kyle was much faster and had one of the strongest punches in South Park. He would have to rely on dirty tricks and take him off guard.

"You fucking Jewish waste of space. Your entire religion should have been crushed under Hitler's boot!" Cartman spat as he barreled towards the smaller boy moving way faster than his frame should allow him to.

Kyle smirked as he readied himself to deliver a punch to Cartman's gut. Cartman noticed this stance and stopped a few feet away from Kyle.

"What's the matter Cartman? You were talking so much shit a few seconds ago. Come and "crush me under your boot", you fat fuck." Kyle said calmly as he stared at Cartman.

The crowd that surrounded the pair went silent as they watched Cartman for his response. Kyle waited for a minute before speaking.

"You are a fucking coward fatass. I guess your crack whore of a mother couldn't be bothered to teach you not to start things you can't finish. You have been an absolute dick to everybody in this school for so many years. Have you ever wondered why you never get invited to anything?" He paused to look over Cartman before continuing.

"Nobody likes you Cartman. You are barely tolerated. All the horrible things you do to everyone. All the rumors and lies are the reason no one will ever love you. You will be alone for the rest of your life. One day you will die and no one will care."

Kyle looked into Cartman's eyes and saw that he had finally broken him. A look of sadness filled the brunette's eyes that only Kyle could see. The crowd waited for Cartman to tear into Kyle but he didn't. He just turned and walked away.

The crowd split and watched as Cartman walked into the school with his head down and his fist balled up at his sides. Slowly, the crowd began to disperse and soon, only Kyle was left with his two closest friends, Stan and Kenny.

Kenny was the one to break the silence. "Dude. You were awesome! You finally shut that fat bastard up!" Kenny praised as he slapped Kyle on the back.

"Yeah, man!" It was Stan who spoke now. "You finally took him down a few notches."

Kyle recalls the hurt in Cartman's eyes and begins to think if he maybe went too far. After a few moments he shakes it away, turns to his friends, and grins. "Hopefully fatass won't mess with us anymore. Come on guys, let's go to class." The other two boys nodded and followed Kyle into the school.

 **Sorry that it was so short!**

 **Please review and don't hold back! I will have the next chapter up soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note: Hi, I just wanted to clear up a few points that I should have made clear in the first chapter. The boys were in 6th grade at the time of the fight so they were around 11-12 years old. I still haven't decided how I want the POV to go in this story so please bear with me. Thanks for continuing to read my story!**_

 **3 years later…**

"Bubala, wake up. You don't want to be late for your first day of high school, do you?" Mrs. Brofloski yelled from downstairs.

Kyle groaned in disappointment as he peeled his eyes open and swung his legs off the side of his bed.

He flushed as he remembered the content of his dream and tried to ignore the tent that was in his pants.

He hops out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom. He pulls off his ushanka and sighs as he looks at the curly red mess that adorns his head.

"This shit is a curse" he says under his breath as he attempts to run his fingers through it. He gives up and pulls his ushanka back on. He brushes his teeth and makes his way downstairs to eat breakfast.

"Good morning, sweetie. Did you sleep alright?" Sheila says as Kyle makes his way to the dining room table.

"Yeah, mom. I slept pretty well." Kyle says as his mom pours him a bowl of cereal.

"Well, that's great bubala. Make sure you eat fast so you can make it to the bus on time. Oh and don't forget to walk Ike to his bus too."

"Alright, mom" Kyle says as he starts to chow down.

"Hey, guys" Kyle yells as he approaches his best friend standing at the bus stop.

"What's going on dude?" Stan says while he slaps Kyle on the back.

"Nothing much man. Where's Kenny?" Kyle asks.

"Shit man, I don't know. He must just be running late." Stan shrugs.

As Kyle and Stan talk about the latest Terrance and Phillip episode, Kenny walks up to them with a tall brunette in tow.

"What's good fellas?" Kenny says as he walks up. The boy that Kenny was dragging waves and flashes and dazzling smile.

"Not much Kenny. Who is your friend?" Kyle ask as he stares at the brunette. This boy looked so familiar but also like a complete stranger. He wore a light blue beanie with a yellow puffball on top with locks of hair peeking out from under the hat. To Kyle's eyes' the boy was extremely attractive. Kyle had determined that he was gay last year when he had a string of wet dreams involving the male members of his class.

"You guys seriously don't recognize this fatass?" Kenny said as he jabbed the boy in his side with his elbow.

Kyle went pale as he heard the word "Fatass" leave Kenny's mouth. It couldn't be his tubby rival. He moved away to Texas in 6th grade. His tormentor couldn't possibly be back. He couldn't have been lusting over Eric Cartman.

"Oh my god. Cartman is that you?" Stan asked as he took a step closer.

Cartman grins as he speaks. "Yeah, man. How have you been?"

"I thought you moved to Texas. What are you doing back here?" Stan asked as he claps his hand on Cartman's shoulder.

"Well, I did move to Texas but I convinced my mom to move back here. I missed this town. I missed my friends." He shoots a small glance at Kyle as he says "Friends".

Kyle finally regains the ability to speak. "What the hell are you doing back here fatass?" Kyle sneers as he pulls his sleeves up preparing for a fight.

"I didn't come back to fight, Kyle. I-I've changed." Cartman stumbles out as he takes a step away from the angry boy.

"Like hell you have! I thought I was finished with you in 6th grade but now, I have to deal with your torment throughout high school as well?" Kyle yells as Stan and Kenny run over to hold him back.

"Kyle calm down!" Stan pleads.

"There is no reason to be angry." Kenny says.

"Life has been so good without him around. All he's gonna do is insult us and get us wrapped up in his schemes!" Kyle yells as he struggles against Kenny and Stan. He looks at Cartman and all his anger melts away from him.

Cartman looks almost as if he's about to cry. He's holding the gold locket that hangs around his neck with both hands and it sounds like his praying under his breath.

Kyle immediately feels terrible and he tries to do damage control.

"Look Cartman, I'm sorry. I'm overreacting because of the past. I should at least give you a chance before I start casting judgement." Kyle says as he walks over to Cartman with his hand extended.

Cartman looks up and smiles at Kyle before taking his hand and shaking it.

Stan and Kenny smile as they watch the exchange between the two boys.

 _ **Thanks for reading chapter 2! I understand this one was a little short as well and I apologize for that. I am going to try and start writing longer chapters. Its finals time and I have to study. I will also be trying to have a semi regular release time for these chapters. Please review and stay tuned for the next chapter!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Authors Note: I'm finally done with finals so I should be able to post much more frequently. I'm going to be trying a different POV for this chapter so let me know if you guys like it or not.**_

 _ **Cartman's POV**_

"Hi poopsiekins! How was your first day?" I hear mom call from the kitchen. She has always been so great and supportive of me. I can't believe how shitty I used to treat her. I guess I used to treat everyone like shit.

"It was alright. I'll be upstairs if you need me." I yell back at her while running up the stairs. I run into my room and shut the door behind me before laying down on my bed. My eyes are barely closed before I hear tapping on my window. My hand grasps the silver locket around my neck as I get up and walk to the window. I open the window and a tall, skinny, blond boy climbs in.

"What are you doing here and why are you coming through my window?" I ask Kenny as he fell onto my bed.

"It looks like you never moved out of this room" Kenny muses, completely ignoring my question.

I sigh and drop my hand as I realize that it is still grasping my locket. I walk over to my desk and sit in the chair, waiting for my friend to speak.

"So what was that this morning?" Kenny asks as he sits up and turns his piercing gaze on me. Those eyes always looked as if they could read your very soul.

I blush and look down before replying. "I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about." I look up at him and see the look of a man unconvinced.

"Now you don't really expect me to believe that load of bullshit, do you?" He says with a smirk

"I really don't know what you're talking about, Kenneh." Wincing as I hear my voice slip back into its old whining style.

"How about I remind you then. When Kyle was tearing into your ass about how you were a piece of shit, you damn near broke into tears. Does that ring a bell?" He spits at me.

"I was just thinking about Mr. Kitty dying." I lie badly.

"Wow. The Eric Cartman I used to know would never come up with such a terrible lie and he would most definitely never cry after being insulted by Kyle Broflovski." Kenny says with a look of genuine surprise.

"Well maybe I'm not the Eric Cartman you used to know!" I blurt out before turning around in my chair and grasping my locket. The room was silent for about five minutes before I hear my bed creak as Kenny's weight lifts off of it.

I sigh slightly as I hear Kenny walk towards me. I feel his hand on my shoulder before he speaks.

"Aright Cartman, I won't ask about this morning anymore." He says softly

"I do have one more question before I leave though." He says as his grip tightens slightly.

I take in a deep breath before speaking. "What is it?"

He leaned down and spoke into my ear softly. "Why don't you stop being a pussy and admit you like Kyle?"

I feel my blood run cold as my hand falls from my locket. A million things are running through my head. "How did he find out? Was I too obvious? Did he read my journal?"

"I knew it!" Kenny voice snaps me out of my frozen state.

"How did you figure it out?" I sputter out.

"I had my suspicions after that fight you and Kyle had in 6th grade. I heard you crying in the locker room after you stormed off but I just wrote it off as you being a pussy. I was pretty sure after today but I wasn't 100 percent positive until you confirmed it right now." Kenny explains.

I sigh as I collect myself before turning to Kenny. "Yeah, I love that little jew bastard. Something about the way his eyes shine that brilliant emerald green just turns my insides to goo. That's really the reason I always picked fights with him. He is the only one who calls me out on my shit."

"So what happened in 6th grade?" Kenny asks as he leans against my wall.

My face falls as Kyle's words ring through my head. "It hit me hard when he said no one would ever love me. It was him saying I had no chance with him. That I would never be able to win his love." I say as my eyes begin to fill with tears. "I went home that day and told my mom that I wanted to move with my uncle in Texas. She agreed and we left that night. I spent those three years trying to reinvent my personality."

The tears are streaming down my face now. "I thought that if I could change how I acted to people that maybe I could change how Kyle thinks of me." I finish as I break down crying.

"So what Kyle said this morning brought back those memories?" Kenny asks as he wraps me up in his arms.

I can't stop crying long enough to speak so I just nod before putting my face into my hands.

We sit there together until I stop sobbing. I thank Kenny before pulling away and heading to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. I look like a mess. My hair is strewn all about my face and my eyes are red and swollen from crying. I splash my face with water and clean myself up before I return to Kenny.

"You do know it's going to take more than just acting nice to make Kyle believe you've changed, right?" Kenny asks as I sit down on my bed.

"Yeah, I realize that I've done a lot of fucked up shit in the past but I really have changed Kenny. I have no desire to do any of the shit I used to love. I will do anything to prove to Kyle that I'm worthy of his love." I say as I feel my face get hot.

Kenny stares at me for a moment before smiling and nodding at me. "Well, I can most definitely see some change in you." He says as he walks towards my window, preparing to leave. "I'll see you at the bus stop tomorrow."

"Alright, Kenny. Thanks for coming over." I call out to him as he disappears down the street.

I open my locket and lay back on bed to admire the bright green eyes that I desire so much.

"I will earn your trust Kyle. I promise" I say softly as I feel myself fall asleep.

 _ **I realize it was a little OOC for Cartman to break down crying but it will get better as the story goes on. I'm going to start releasing these on a weekly schedule so expect a new chapter every Wednesday. The next chapter will be from Kyle's POV and it might be up a little early since I've already started on it. Thanks for continuing to read my story and please continue to rate!**_


	4. Update

Hi, readers. I apologize for the break in the story. Over the holiday break, I unfortunately didn't have access to my computer. This story will be continued beginning in February. Again, I apologize for the hiatus but I have just started a new semester in school and I need to focus on school for right now. Thanks for understanding and I'll see you in February!


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